Your nuclear family will never be the same. It’s reinvented. You’re not a wife anymore but you may still be a mother, a business woman and caring adult. Getting through a divorce will have its ups and downs. Here are 6 things that may help you emerge stronger and happier.
1. Remember Who You Were – Before. Sometimes our past gets lost in the day-to-day hustle. Spend some time with your children (if you’re a Mom) or with yourself looking through photo albums, favorite books and yearbooks from your childhood. Revisit that younger self. Your children will have fun sharing (and making fun of that 1980’s yearbook photo) and you’ll reconnect with old goals. Maybe, you’ll remember a past activity that you loved and get involved in it again. Don’t pull out the photos from your soon-to-be-over marriage. That’s history that should not be revisited right now.
2. Indulge. The divorce may have you watching your budget and it may be more difficult to get away, but plan some activities that are just for you. It could be lunch with the girls or just taking the longest, hottest bath to relax. You can do it – you can find the time and money to give yourself a special treat. It will pay you dividends in relaxation and being able to see a happy future.
3. Don’t Tell All. At least, not to everyone. Find a couple of trusted friends or relatives that can listen to you when you need to vent about every little detail. But, you don’t need to tell anyone and everyone every dirty detail. In the heat of anger, you’re likely to say something you want to take back. Confine those dialogues – or diatribes – to the very trusted so you can take back what you’ve said and they’ll understand.
4. Get Out of Town. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but pack up the kids or grab a couple of girlfriends and get away. Rent a cabin in the mountains and enjoy fresh air and beautiful scenery or take a weekend trip to the big city. You’ll learn that you can plan things and travel on your own. The trip will be both relaxing and empowering.
5. Get Healthy. This one is important. If you’re already living a very healthy lifestyle with good, nutritious food, keep it up. If you know you can make improvements, start making them. It can be as simple as making sure you stay hydrated or enjoying an afternoon walk or you can hit the gym. Be sure to add fruits and veggies to your diet!
6. Rely on your Attorney. Start your divorce proceedings by hiring an experienced divorce lawyer. Then, let that lawyer take the stress off your shoulders. A divorce attorney knows how to handle child custody arrangements and financial details, including support. You don’t have to go it alone when you have an experienced attorney to represent you. Make what you want clear to your attorney. Then, let go and let that experienced pro take care of the divorce and you.
Think of your divorce as a fresh start. Take care of yourself – from planning that weekend trip to letting you divorce attorney lead the way. Pay attention to yourself and to your children. Guard your health. Look forward to the future.