If you are a victim of Parental Alienation Syndrome, you will want to act to protect your child and protect yourself. To do that you have to understand the signs a child is alienated, how it happens and how you should react with the child.
Signs a Child Has Been Alienated
• The child does not want to see or talk to the alienated parent – or that parent’s friend and family.
• The child expresses anger toward the alienated parent without reason or with weak reasons.
• The child shows no guilt for hurting the targeted parent or for expressing negative things about that parent.
• The child speaks badly of the targeted parent and may, even, use foul language.
• The child says negative and inaccurate things about the targeted parent.
How One Parent Alienates a Child from the Other Parent
• The child may be encouraged by one parent to be angry at the other parent.
• The alienating parent may blame the other parent for splitting the family, money troubles or any other negative impact the divorce has created.
• Planning special activities that interfere with the targeted parent’s visitation.
• Denying the targeted parent access to the child’s school or medical records and schedule of activities.
• The child may be encouraged to choose between the parents.
How to Act with Your Child as the Alienated Parent
• Fulfill your obligations. Pick up your child at the appointed time – even when you know the child won’t be available. Pay your child support. You want to do all your parenting obligations as ordered by the court.
• Keep track. Keep a written log on any and all incidents that point to alienation. Include all the details.
• Stay calm and control your anger. Talk to the child about happy times if possible. Don’t discuss the court case or the other parent with the child.
• If possible, get counseling for the child or for you and the child.
• Talk openly with the child, but don’t argue or be defensive.
If you are in situation where your ex is alienating you from your child or children, talk to your divorce lawyer. Divorce attorneys are likely to be very experienced in child custody matters. The attorney will help you evaluate your rights and determine if you need to return to court. Above all, remember that your job is to be the best possible parent at all time and in any situation.